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A day in the life Of...
Edward Bennett
Edward Bennett
Read on
View from the Foot of the Tower: Witness Template – Truth Serum style
Date:23 JUL 2014
Third slide
Care Lawyer
Caveat – of course 99% of advocates don’t think like this, and there is no such thing as a deckchair brief.

Witness Local Authority Mother Father Grandmother Guardian
Social Worker 30 minutes
[safe pair of hands]
4 hours
[my client wants to see her cry]
30 minutes
[maybe I can get her to agree some contact when she’s weak after mum’s cross-exam]
1 hour
[I am a baby barrister, and the final hearing will be given to someone more senior. I don’t want to get this wrong]
5 minutes
[Deckchair brief!]
Health Visitor 10 minutes
[I hope she’s a nice one, and not a stern one]
30 minutes
[I haven’t read her statement yet]
30 minutes
[me neither]
1 hour 0
[Here I am in my deckchair]
Contact supervisor 5 minutes
[REALLY? You’re making me call the contact supervisor? ]
3 hours
[Get ready to be bored, folks]
5 minutes
[My client hasn’t gone to contact for 2 months. At least I don’t have to read the notes]
1 hour
[oh, this is easier than I thought it would be]
[I earned a rest, damnit]
Dr Kutten
10 minutes
[I agree with every word]
1 ½ hours
[I have NO idea how to tackle that car-crash yet]
3 hours
[I’ve skimmed this and I thought of 4 questions immediately]
1 hour 15 minutes
[I get off my deckchair for experts, but not for long]
Ms Paste
2 ½ hours
[you will RUE the day you made an enemy out of me, missy]
5 minutes
[please stick to your conclusions, please please please]
1 hour
[proportion of my questions that will start ‘isn’t it the case that?’ 40%, proportion that will start ‘isn’t it also possible that?’ 45% proportion that will start ‘but this isn’t an exact science’ 15%]
1 hour 2 minutes
[she’s not a doctor]
Mother 3 hours
[I want her to get scared and agree to do it on submissions]
30 minutes
[I think she can hold it together that long and look pretty good]
30 minutes
[It doesn’t help my case, but I love the sound of my own voice]
1 hour 0
[wonder what I’ll be having for tea that day?]
Father 15 minutes
[he tested positive for heroin 2 weeks ago, fish in a barrel]
5 minutes
[see, I put 5 minutes down for YOUR client – don’t ask mine anything]
5 minutes
[I might just ask him his name and sit down]
1 hour 0
[this is the life]
Grandmother 5 minutes
[good old gran]
5 minutes
[don’t upset gran]
5 minutes
[she’s not my client’s mum]
1 hour
[is my column looking suspicious? I’ve put an hour for everything.oh god, do they know?]
[wonder if she’s like Emily Bishop?]
Guardian 15 minutes 1 hour
[my client hates you, but she hates the social worker much more]
5 minutes
[my client failed to attend 4 appointments with her, and stole her purse at court]
3 ½ hours
[oh god, they know, throw them off the scent]
5 minutes
[stick a fork in me, I’m done] 

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