Chris Barton's Sketch

The view from Mars

In Stoke-on-Trent the average gent
Just cannot sleep at all
In The Aquitaine each peasant’s brain
Is to this case in thrall

Some say ‘All for Radders!’
And others ‘No not so!’
The latter dream that each centime
Will go to Granatin - io

In Pontefract a strict contract
Must trump judge-based discretion
Yet in Aberdare they think it fair
To halve each Klee and Titian

In Cannock Chase the natives race
To log in on the net
‘PMC’s’? Or ‘As your Lordships please’?
Which is the better bet?

In far SA each grill and braai
Is empty and bereft.
World Cup players here all shake with fear
How much will they have left?

In Babbacombe there is no room
For doubt upon the matter
All there view Section Twenty-five (two)
As prime ground for a natter

So finally Dear R and G
As decisions we await
We mutter on the bus 'And what's in this for us?'
Re your millions and their fate

The Sketch swells its huge inflation-proof fat-cat public sector pension by assisting at the annual CPD courses run by The Mediation Centre for family law solicitors and mediators. And the clever remark? None. They are great days in...

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