Spotlight
Family Law Awards 2020
Shortlist announced - time to place your vote!
Court of Protection Practice 2020
'Court of Protection Practice goes from strength to strength, having...
Jackson's Matrimonial Finance Tenth Edition
Jackson's Matrimonial Finance is an authoritative specialist text...
Spotlight
Latest articles
CB v EB [2020] EWFC 72
(Family Court, Mostyn J, 16 November 2020)Financial Remedies – Consent order – Application for set aside – Property values left husband with lower sums than anticipated – FPR...
No right (as yet) to be married legally in a humanist ceremony: R (on the application of Harrison and others) v Secretary of State for Justice [2020] EWHC 2096 (Admin)
Mary Welstead, CAP Fellow, Harvard Law School, Visiting Professor in Family Law, University of BuckinghamIn July 2020, six humanist couples brought an application for judicial review on the...
Controlling and coercive behaviour is gender and colour blind but how are courts meeting the challenge to protect victims
Maryam Syed, 7BRExamining the most recent caselaw in both family and criminal law jurisdictions this article discusses the prominent and still newly emerging issue of controlling and coercive domestic...
Roma families face disadvantage in child protection proceedings
Mary Marvel, Law for LifeWe have all become familiar with the discussion about structural racism in the UK, thanks to the excellent work of the Black Lives Matter movement. But it is less recognised...
The ‘Bank of Mum and Dad’ – obligations and scope for change
Helen Brander, Pump Court ChambersQuite unusually, two judgments of the High Court in 2020 have considered financial provision for adult children and when and how applications can be made. They come...
View all articles
Authors

Ten practical steps for separating in the New Year

Sep 29, 2018, 22:45 PM
Separation, mediation, family law, children, divorce, Resolution, Jo Carr-West, new year
January is a time for new beginnings, and once the children are back at school and the fairy lights have been packed away, there is a notable increase in the number of people calling time on a relationship or marriage that has run its course. Picking up a phone to a family lawyer can be an intimidating prospect, so what practical steps can you take to gain some control of the situation if you have decided to separate?
Slug : ten-practical-steps-for-separating-in-the-new-year
Meta Title : Ten practical steps for separating in the New Year
Meta Keywords : Separation, mediation, family law, children, divorce, Resolution, Jo Carr-West, new year
Canonical URL :
Trending Article : No
Prioritise In Trending Articles : No
Date : Jan 5, 2016, 11:03 AM
Article ID : 116856
January is a time for new beginnings, and once the children are back at school and the fairy lights have been packed away, there is a notable increase in the number of people calling time on a relationship or marriage that has run its course. Picking up a phone to a family lawyer can be an intimidating prospect, so what practical steps can you take to gain some control of the situation if you have decided to separate?

1. What about the children?

Deciding when and what to tell the children is often a thorny subject, so start by thinking practically. This is one of the biggest changes that will happen in their lives. Research how you can help them through it and how best to support them. Resolution, Gingerbread and Relate are useful sources of information.

2. Think about practical arrangements for the children

If you will be continuing to live together for the immediate future, think about how you can both be involved in the children's lives. Perhaps thnk about carving out time for the children to spend with each of you separately each weekend; can you both do some school drop-offs or pick-ups? Can you arrange for each of you to take the children to particular activities during the week or at the weekend?

3. Is one of you moving out?

If you have children, how can things be arranged so that you are both close by? Being geographically close will make practical involvement with the children easier. Think through how this can be managed and afforded. Bear in mind that whatever arrangements are in place might need to last several months, so how sustainable are they? Is it realistic for one person to stay with friends or family for a long period of time?

4. Keep in contact with the children's school

Make sure that the children's school, nursery or other carer has contact details for both of you and that you both receive any letters, emails or newsletters that are sent out. If there are informal school email or social media groups, make sure that both parents are involved in these. This will keep everyone informed of what's happening in the children's lives, which not only helps on a day-to-day basis with practical arrangements, but also means that the children receive the reassurance of both parents being able to talk to them about the things happening in their lives.

5. Communicate

Find a form of communication that works best for you. Face-to-face is hard, but emails and text messages are easy to hide behind and people can say things nd behave in ways that they would not in person. Make use of relationship support services to find a safe space to talk in, if you do not want to see each other alone. Think about whether you would benefit from family or relationship therapy; not necessarily to discuss whether your relationship has a future as a couple, but how you will work together during the divorce process and beyond.

6. Budget

Work out what you need to live on each month. Use bank statements, credit card and utility bills to work out what you spend every month. Identify how much of this is essential and how much is discretionary; don't forget expenditure that happens only a couple of times a year. How much do you need to spend on a holiday in the summer? What is your budget for Christmas and birthday presents?

7. Know your income and assets

Take your time to make a comprehensive list of your bank accounts, assets and property. If you own property, research how much this might be worth. If you have a mortgage, find out how much is left to repay and over what term. Are there are any penalties for early repayment? If you have a pension try to find your most recent statement and contact the pension company for an estimate of its current value. If you work, make sure you have copies of your recent payslips and your last P60 as a record of what you earned in the last financial year. If you don't work, what sources of income do you have? Are you entitled to child benefit if you will be living separately or any other forms of benefit?

8. Look to the future

Think about how you would like life to look at the beginning of 2017. Start to think about where you might live, even if the idea of moving is a worst case scenario it is good to know the alternatives. Might you have to return to work, increase your hours, or retrain? If so, start to think about what is achievable and realistic.

9. Find a lawyer

It is sensible to have some advice even if you do not want to use a lawyer in the long-term. Find a lawyer who specialises in family law and has the right experience to help you. Make sure that they are a member of Resolution, an association of family lawyers who subscribe to a code of conduct which prioritises a constructive approach. Most importantly, make sure that they are someone you will have a good working relationship with. 

10. Treat Google with caution

There is a wealth of information available online. If you are using this as a source of information and/or advice, make sure that the site you are using is reputable and up to date. If in doubt, seek advice from a family lawyer. You will need to live with decisions you make now for years to come, and it is important to get them right. 

Separation and divorce can be stressful for all members of the family. Putting the above steps into action will help to demystify and take the fear out of the process. preparation will help your separation to proceed as smoothly as possible, protecting your children, finances and quality of life.

Register now for Family Law Update 2016 – our annual nationwide seminar series is the essential one-stop shop for all family law practitioners providing the latest on financial remedies, public and private children law, all things procedural, plus a range of need-to-know hot topics.
Categories :
  • Articles
Tags :
Provider :
Product Bucket :
Recommend These Products
Related Articles
Load more comments
Comment by from